JOST A MON

The idle ramblings of a Jack of some trades, Master of none

Oct 14, 2012

Rice

In the 80s, every so often Punjabi farmers would arrive in Delhi's residential colonies, phut-phutting away on their tractors and bearing large sacks of grain. They would knock on the doors and ask housewives if they'd like to buy wheat or basmati rice. They would offer these grains cheaper than at local stores, and they would expect the housewives to buy large quantities. Many families kept huge barrels to store the grain, and would not be averse to fifty or hundred kilogrammes. We had less storage space than most, but we too would buy the rice.

And what rice it was - fragrant and delicious! Quite different from the usual parmal that we ate, this was a grain fit for festivals and lordly occasions. Pulaos were more delicious with basmati, as were biryanis, and even plain rice with simple curries was tastier than usual. It would, therefore, be brought out only for special events. But eventually the Indian climate would begin to wear it down, weevils would appear in the dry grain, and we'd have to cook up the remainder in an orgy of fragrance and anticipation.

We would take trips to Kerala every so often, and there we would encounter the rich, red Kerala rice, unpolished and fat. Steaming ladlefuls on our plates accompanied by fish curry and every manner of coconut preparation tasted like heaven. 'This is the real rice,' the paterfamilias would say contentedly.

But he could only have it during those short few days of holidays - any more, and he'd complain of it sitting heavy in the stomach, difficult to digest. So we'd never bring any back to Delhi, and we'd go back to parmal and the infrequent basmati.

When I studied in Bangalore, the hostel messes were scenes of enormous piles of rice being cooked day and night. It is a staple in South India, after all, and it was consumed by the ton. I didn't stop to wonder what breed of rice it was, generic and flat and flavoured only because of the curries that we liberally mixed with it. Better yet was the stream of hot chapatis that the mess attendants would bring to the tables, and I began to lose my interest in rice.

Meanwhile, my family was in Japan, on my dad's final posting before retirement. They were staggered by the cost of the Japanese rice. The Japanese growers were a cartel that enforced high prices, which for whatever reason, the locals were willing to pay. This was a fine rice, sticky and chewy, but completely unsuitable for an Indian cuisine.

One year, the harvest of Japanese rice was worse than usual, and the prices shot up to levels that even the locals blanched at. In desperation, the government cast about for a replacement, and they settled on aromatic Thai rice. But the Japanese, conservative to the bitter end, refused to buy much of it, and the authorities had to offload it at throwaway prices. This was manna to the underpaid Third World types, and when I visited my folks, I was treated on a daily basis to the new grain.

It was superb, long grained and fragrant, intrinsically so flavourful it could be eaten without accompaniment. Mere dollops of coconut or jasmine would accentuate the taste. Unfortunately, this flavour would be completely subsumed by the spices of Indian cooking, and the rice would then take on the characteristics of parmal. Still, it was better than using Japanese rice for Indian cooking, and we managed rather well.

When I went to the US, I was amazed to find basmati everywhere. We had heard that the best basmatis were being exported from India - here I found not only Indian but Pakistani basmati as well. I couldn't tell the difference between the two, and consumed such quantities that before long the thrill was gone, and it became as pedestrian as any other.

I investigated other varieties - Mexican, for example, and short and long grained Californian. They were fine grains but with little novelty. Much better was the risotto, short and fat and creamy, while Spanish paella rice was remarkably thirsty, yet retaining its distinct grains when cooked.

Now I'm conducting a bit of an experiment. In the last few months, we've been trying different rices. First, our idea was to go back to that Kerala rice that the wife and I remembered so fondly. It has been a bit of a hit-and-miss experience. The red raw rice we first tried is spectacular in colour, but it doesn't quite match our memory of Kerala. I've also tried a parboiled red rice, which turns out to be a closer approximation. This is quite difficult to cook, though, requiring a pressure cooker and lots of water, and my green credentials are taking a bit of a beating.

Unfortunately, my experimentation has been without record-keeping, so I've forgotten all the varieties of rice I've recently tried. I do have vague recollections of Sri Lankan names and ponni and matta. These will have to do for the time being, until I discover the next great rice.


Aug 31, 2012

Ahom, Asom, Assam

When I was in college in the late 80s, students from the state of Assam were often militant in their politics. At the time, there were several insurrections in progress. The Bodos were up in arms, and there was a general agitation by the 'native' Assamese, who called themselves the 'Asom'. The number of ethnic groups in that state was fairly mindnumbing, and each one had its own competing agenda.

Historically, the Asom had been the dominant people, despite the more recent (in relative terms) of Bengali immigration from the southwest. Asom is a name that is the same as Ahom and Shan (in Burma) and Siam, a large family of peoples with very closely related languages extending from Laos, western Yunnan, Thailand and all the way across the Indian north-eastern states. They had moved up into the Brahmaputra valley from Burma and established themselves as regional monarchs. 

The first Asom monarch was Sukaphaa, who styled himself swargadeo, 'the god of heaven', a title that was adopted by his descendants down to the 19th century. But as the monarchy became closely intertwined with the neighbouring Hindu kingdoms, adopting Hinduism as state religion, their native language became less important, and Assamese, a language related to Bengali, became paramount. 

For several centuries, the cousins warred with each other across the hills of the northeast - Asom against the Shan - and with neighbouring little kingdoms. The height of the Asom dynasty was achieved in the 17th century when they defeated the Burmese kingdom and set the northern limit of the latter's expansion.

The biggest threat to Asom came from the Mughals who were rampaging across eastern India at the same time. Unlike the Hindu kingdoms of the rest of the subcontinent which were worn out after centuries of warfare against them, the Ahom were fresh and dominant. Given their organisation as a mobilizer of manpower rather than ownership of land, the Ahom could raise armies at moment's notice, a capability that surprised the Mughals. During the reign of Jahangir, there were almost annual battles between the two throughout the jungles around the Brahmaputra. The Ahom were expert at guerrilla tactics, demoralising the Mughals who called them 'black and loathsome in appearance' and Assam as 'a land of witches and magic'. 

Mughal victory came in 1661 when Aurangzeb's general Muhammad Said Mir Jumla annexed Cooch Behar, smashed the Ahom, occupied Gauhati and captured Garhgaon, the Ahom capital. The swargadeo and his court fled and tried to raise counterattacks, only to sue for peace two years later, with his daughter Ramani Gabharu sent to the harem of the Emperor. (She married the governor of Bengal, Azamtara, later.)  Ahom became a vassal of the Mughals and surrendered their western territories.

Unfortunately for the Mughals, Mir Jumla died, and his replacements were hardly of his calibre. In 1667, the Ahom threw off their suzerains when their commander Lachit Borphukan vanquished the Mughals under Raja Ram Singh of Amber.

In the 18th and 19th centuries, the wars were between the Ahom and their southern neighbours, the Burmese, in which the Ahom often found themselves bested and having to send their princesses as gifts. Still the Burmese continued with their attacks; warlike, they wanted to carry their dominions into the rest of India. At this point, however, the British East India Company got involved; once the Burmese were defeated, they were forced to surrender Assam. 

Initially, the British weren't sure what to do with their new possession. They went around dropping pamphlets that claimed they were not led into Assam by the thirst of conquest, rather by their desire to deprive their enemy of his means of attacking them. Then they decided to stay, faced insurrections, put them down brutally, and installed a monitor over the swargadeo. In 1838, they decided he was corrupt and his court a hotbed of malfeasance, and closed down his government. 

And that was the end of 600 years of the Asom dynasty.

Reference

Thant Myint-U, Where China Meets India: Burma and the New Crossroads of Asia, Faber and Faber, 2011.

Late in the 14th century, a monk named Sumanathera was forced by a dream to go relic-hunting and found a bone in Pang Cha. The bone apparently had various supernatural abilities, not least of which was the property to replicate itself. At the time, there were rival kingdoms vying for the Buddha's favour, and the monk took the relic to Sukhothai, where it behaved, well, like any other bone - inert and lifeless. An abashed Sukhothai was sweet music to the ears of the Lanna, who invited Sumanathera north. The bone, upon arrival, split into two pieces, one as big as the original and the other slightly smaller. For reasons best known to the Lanna monarch, the larger piece was put on a white elephant that was then let loose in the jungle. It climbed up a hill and trumpeted thrice. What happened next is rather puzzling and a possible non-sequitur. It died.

And on that hill overlooking Chiang Mai was built the golden chedi of Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep. A few centuries after the events chronicled here, we turn up in a rickety bottle-green car and crick our necks upwards in a vain attempt to catch sight of the pagoda of gold.

"Shall we walk up the steps to the temple?" I say.

The wife transfixes me with a pitying look. Evidently the heat had gotten to me and she fully expects me to tear off my clothes and run up the hill in gay abandon.

So we take the funicular instead. For the pleasure, we are stiffed 50 baht each, the only saving grace being that the boy goes free. He is very impressed with the cable car. "Choochoo," he yells at various moments as we grind our way skyward. He shakes his fist at the cable and watches in awe as another car silently slides downwards beside us.

The road from the parking lot below up to the hill was built entirely out of Buddhist kindness of heart and volunteer work. Seventy-odd years ago, touched by the effort put in by the old and the weak to clamber and struggle on their pilgrimage to the temple, Kruba Srivichai, the top monk in Chiang Mai made preparations for the construction of a walkway. As soon as news spread, villagers from all over northern Thailand arrived to help. There were so many people demanding a piece of the action that Kruba Srivichai was forced to request each village to help with just a fifty foot-long section of the road. Undeterred by this rationing, even more people poured into Chiang Mai, and Kruba had to make further restrictions: 15 feet per village.

We don't see any of this road, of course, because we are wafted heavenward by a piece of modern machinery. I think the funicular might have been of Swiss construction, but all the signage and etchings indicate a Thai engineering firm. I clutch at the hand-rails a bit tighter.

As soon as we reach the top, the boy is off like a rocket, and for the next five minutes, confusion reigns while we make unsuccessful attempts to grab him. In a fit of pique, the wife flounces off to the sanctum sanctorum, leaving me to cope with the boy.

We run around the temple walls three times, very reminiscent of Achilles (me) chasing Hector (the boy). Every once in a while, much to the stupefaction of the religiously inclined, we engage in brief but stirring hand-to-hand combat. I don't get much of an opportunity to take in the sights as I run, but an unconscious mechanism records brief glimpses of colour, bells, carvings, dragons, a Ganesha, lions, saffron, and flags.

Benign monks survey us dispassionately. One of them sagely nods to me as I nip past him. I pause for breath.

"What goes around comes around," he says. I ponder the significance of this epigram.

It gradually dawns on me. I don't have to chase after the boy. He will circumambulate the pagoda and appear from the other side! All I have to do is wait! I am a fool!

"But hang on a tick," says another voice in my head. It sounds a bit like the wife. "What if the boy were to get lost in the crowd?"

"Curses," I think to myself (in my own voice).

"But the path to wisdom is in doing," I murmur back to the monk, whose face lights up in the backwash of my brilliance.

Luckily, the boy has by then been distracted by a sleeping dog. He stands at a safe distance from it and yodels incoherently. Catching sight of me, he grins from ear to ear and runs into my arms. I plonk him on my shoulders and take a leisurely walk around the grounds.

From the back of the temple is a panoramic view of Chiang Mai. It is not a very impressive sight in comparison to the beauty of the temple itself. A smog has descended on the town. And in any case it is too far away to see any of its three-hundred-odd temples, even those of beaten gold leaf glinting in the sun. So the boy and I about-turn and meander around the walls of the temple complex.

There is much to marvel at, amidst a sea of exploding colours. Like all temples in Thailand, Doi Suthep is much more impressive at a distance than up close. This is because the intricate artwork and bejewelled inlays reveal themselves to be quite a bit duller (even if masterly) from near. Even the material used gives the illusion of richness from afar. When your nose is next to a bright column, you see clearly that there are no jewels, no precious metals, and that there is only a clever use of paint throughout. This is not to disparage the work, not at all. It is all done with respect and skill. I certainly wouldn't be able to duplicate even the meanest of efforts I saw in Thailand. But a little of the magic is lost when I stand right next to what appeared a wondrous sight from metres away.

There are Buddhas smiling serenely all around. In the sancta, again, there are blazing colours only slightly obscured by smoking joss-sticks and the vapours left behind by generations of devotees. The Buddha appears in one room protected by Adisesha, thus linking in one instant the Theravada doctrines with Vaishnavite faith. After all, according to some interpretations of the dashavatar, the Buddha is an incarnation of the Lotus-Eyed One.

There is an array of bells to be rung by the faithful as they do their rounds of the complex. The boy and I stop by them and wonder whether we would be remiss in gonging them whilst wearing shoes. Passersby have no existential qualms of such proportions, so they gong away, fingers and hearts aflutter. Not to be left behind, we add our wishes to the millions floating to the benevolent Shakyamuni.

"Peace for all mankind," I bleat piously.

"There's the doggie!" adds the boy.

When Manoj came back from his trip to Brazil, he was all agog about the exotic fruit he had consumed in copious quantities in that country. He gave me a list of their names and I have forgotten every one of them. So I ensured that I snaggled a little foldout with the names of the exotic fruit of Thailand that I encountered on my recent trip there.

Not all of the fruit are native to Siam, of course, although some have grown there so long that they might for all intents and purposes be considered local. The Rose Apple, or Chompoo(ชมพู), is among them. It looks like a bell-pepper, has an apple-like flesh, and tastes of rosewater. Very delicate flavours. It's originally from Malaya, but is now available far more widely, including India.

Next is the frightful Dragon Fruit, or Kaew Mungkorn. Inside, it looks like an albino kiwi, all pale off-white with pink or black pinprick-like seeds. Its taste, though, is nothing like a kiwi or anything else on earth. Again, a rather delicate flavour; it is eaten by being scooped out of its skin. Aficionados would appreciate the fact that it is available throughout the year. [Photo from here.]

We move on to the hairy Rambutan (or Ngoh, เงาะ), whose red rubbery shell can be removed with a gentle knife-cut, to reveal a mildly sweet, succulent, translucent flesh. Very like a lychee, if not as sweet, what? It's a seasonal fruit: May to July.

The Long Gong, or Duku, is a fruit that grows (like grapes) in a bunch. A pale brown skin covers it; when removed, a translucent flesh is revealed, which is a bit tart. The seed is very bitter, so ensure you don't bite into it! This is another seasonal fruit: August to September.

The Sapodilla (or Lumut) tastes like figs and looks a bit like a papaya from the inside, though much smaller. Sweet and somewhat pungent, gritty, and (before fully ripe) honey-flavoured, it has a large seed which is not edible. The Thais like to carve up the meat into little sculptures. See here, for example. It is available all year.


The Longan (photo from here) resembles the lychee mightily, especially in its translucent flesh. Its shell breaks easily under a small pressure between thumb and finger and the very sweet, pinkish-white fruit is revealed. The Thais make several desserts out of this fruit with syrup or sticky rice. Available mainly between May and September.

And finally, we have the Mangosteen, which resembles neither a mango nor Bruce Springsteen. (Photo from here.) One breaks it open by prying gently with one's thumbs, cracking the rind along the ensuing crack. Its sap is a strong dye, so watch out! The fruit was considered sufficiently exotic at one time that Queen Victoria is said to have offered a reward to anyone who could get her some. And the sour-sweet rush of flavours on biting into it has been legendary for aeons. It is even recorded in Ayurveda, according to this article. Its season is June to October.

Feb 13, 2008

Amazing Thai Snack

I bought some Thai savouries in Bangkok for the gastronomic edification of my colleagues at work. Brought them in today and have been faced with suspicious looks. Is the team looking askance at me because of the blurb on the box? Liken been to Thaliand only tasted an authentic Thai Snack? In a bilious blue box, I find sweet and sour delicacies made of shrimp and honey and vegetable and peanut, rice, garlic, pepper, flour. I haven't tried any yet, but I expect I'll have to soon to allay the suspicions of the masses. Court taster, that's me.

Inside the box is a helpful leaflet explaining:
Snack is defined as a hurried or light meal or food eaten between meals which is meant not to make it too full to eat, in another word it's called food to line one's stomach. Furthermore, a snack helps to relax tension. Known Thai snacks in the former time were mostly of savory category mostly of sweetmeat category and made to serve by each bite as well as colorful in order to attract attention, thus explaining the reason Thai snacks are being served in parties during a veriety of festivities in the past as well as at the present. This box is contained with Thai snacks comprising of Krong Kraeng Krawb, Por Pele Tod, Pun Sib, Khao Tang Nar Tang. They are considered Thai excellent snacks since the former time made with original and genuine recipe with the taste of all-occasion deliciousness.

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Mouthwatering!

It started rather innocuously. The wife and I were asked to don towels and escorted into a room filled with thick, hot steam. Khun Lek placed a couple of bottles of water by our side and sidled out, bowing and smiling. The steam condensed on our bodies and we gaped at each other for a bit. Three minutes later, I started to get a tad bored.

"How long do we sit here?" I said

"Don't know," said the wife . "Why are you always so impatient? This is supposed to be a time to relax."

We sat around some more. Sweat pooled around my neck and ran in streams down my arms and legs. My face felt swollen. Hygroscopic, that's me.

"How long have we been sitting here?" I said presently.

"Five minutes?" said the wife .

"How are you, sir and madam?" said Khun Lek from behind the door.

"Fine, thanks," said the wife .

"How long do we sit here?" I said.

"As long as you like, sir," said Khun Lek. "Half an hour is good."

"Half an hour!" I choked. "I'm not shelling out a coupla-hundred quid to get steamed. I want my massage!"

The wife heaved one of her long-suffering sighs.

"What?" I barked.

"Nothing", she said.

A couple of minutes later, even the wife was beginning to feel restless.

"Umm," she said. "This is a bit boring, no?"

"Ahoy there, Khun Lek!" I yelled. There was a brief patter of gentle feet.

"We're done here," I said as Khun Lek opened the door. The steam billowed out, enveloping the masseuse. We followed the vapours, staggering and missing steps.

Khun Lek escorted us to a fancy shower room. She pointed out the fancy soap, the fancy shampoo, the fancy showercap. We washed briskly and fancily.

Khun Lek and her associate greeted us with soft soft pyjamas and shirts. After we put them on, we crept past silent and dark statues of birds and dragons, tiptoed by a Buddha or two, and lay down supine on soft soft beds.

Khun Lek placed a weighted blindfold over my eyes. Suddenly I was aware of every rustle in the room. Shuffling noises. Sussurating whispers. In the deep background played a santoor. Soothing melodies wafted through the room, causing my hair to stand on end. I do not like new age Muzak. I urged myself to relax.

Khun Lek started by pulling my toes. That did not feel too bad. (I smirked to myself that she wasn't pulling my leg.) She caught each toe below the knuckle and yanked. Then she kneaded my calves and shin.

"How is my pleasure, sir?" she lisped.

I cast about for an answer.

"Soft, medium or stlong?" she said.

I guess she meant pressure.

"Strong, please," I said.

I heard the wife requesting added pressure as well. I settled down to contemplate my navel.

Khun Lek by now was lifting each of my legs and pulling along orthogonal axes. Her fingers dug into my flesh at various acupuncture points. One by one, sundry organs shut down and rebooted. It was all vaguely soothing.

I heard a shuffling and then a weight settled on my legs. The weight crawled upwards to my hips. Suddenly, the pressure intensified - elbows and knees pressing and flattening my limbs. It was not quite so soothing any longer.

"You are tense," said Khun Lek.

"Urk," I said.

The pressure built up even more. Pins and needles flickered up and down my legs. She thrust downwards, sideways, grabbed my shoulder for leverage, twisted and strained. I couldn't see a damned thing! She sat on my right leg and took my left foot in her hands and pulled inwards. A sharp pain shot through my side. Then my leg was being twisted across my torso and pressed down simultaneously, my foot firmly ensconced into what I can only imagine was her armpit. The pain by now was continuous and intense. Streaks of agony rushed up and down my limbs; in an ecstacy of torture, my mind spiralled inwards and all I could think of was the stations on Bangkok's Sky Train.

"Phloen Chit!" I yelped. "Chit Lom! Asok! Nana!"

She wouldn't stop! When I thought the perversion would get no worse, Khun Lek merrily applied strange torques to my arms. My feet touched my nose. My big toe was buried in my navel. My right hand found itself reaching for the ceiling, twisted and stretched and returned looking like my left hand. Khun Lek squashed my chest with her elbows. My stomach migrated to colder climes. I could no longer feel my legs but all across my torso rampaged streaks of health and pain.

Before I knew it, I was lying face down. My legs arched backwards, my feet appearing by my ears. My back strained and popped. I was perspiring so much that the bed began to dissolve. Elbows dug into my lower back. A steamroller went up and down by spine, crunching it to a pancake.

"Please tell me if my pleasure not enough," said the diabolical Khun Lek, chuckling to herself.

"Medium! Medium!" I gasped.

"What did you say, sir? More pleasure?" said Khun Lek.

I thumped the bed and burst into tears.

"Less! Less!" I urged.

"You wuss," said the wife. She sounded more relaxed than the Dalai Lama.

Iron rods were being pressed into my shoulder blades and wing muscles. Twist, prod, heave. Strong hands grabbed my shoulders and a knee embedded itself into my lower spine. I was lifted then, my back arched tauter than a bow. I felt a deep sympathy for Kichaka, who must have experienced exactly this before Bhima broke his spine. I couldn't see a damned thing except for spots dancing before my eyes. My vision turned red, the bending abated and I flopped back onto the bed. The back of my head was slapped around a bit. By this time I had lost all interest in the proceedings.

"Would you like some jasmine tea, sir?" said Khun Lek a few minutes later.

"Urk," I said.

We were escorted to the dressing room, where I needed ministrations from the entire staff to put on my shirt. I couldn't bend and my arms were lifeless. I also appeared to have lost some height.

"Wow," said the wife. "That was awesome. Do you want to do this again?"

She was glowing with health and energy.

"Wow," said the wife again. "All my knots are gone."

"Just give me the damned tea," I muttered thickly. "And get me the hell outta here."

I couldn't lift the teacup to my mouth, so I put my face on it instead and slurped. Khun Lek pattered about, smiling and pouring. All I could think of at the moment was that I sure was glad I hadn't gone for a massage in Istanbul.

If a woman half my height and a third of my weight could inflict so much agony, I shuddered to think of what a bare-chested, hairy, flop-bellied and moustachioed Turk could do to me. A couple of happy slaps from the man, and I wouldn't be here to tell this story.

My first Thai massage. And I am decidedly confident - my last.