JOST A MON

The idle ramblings of a Jack of some trades, Master of none

May 6, 2013

Another Reason To Close The Toilet Lid Before Flushing

The other day, the wife wanted a frappuccino so we nipped into a Starbucks. While she bought the drink, I popped over to the loo. As is my custom, I lowered the lid before flushing, and what did I find? £160 in crisp twenties fallen behind the toilet lid.

I handed the cash over to the barista. He said, 'You found this in the toilet?' He laughed. A customer standing at the counter laughed. They both stared at me.

The manager saw the cash in the barista's hands. 'Where did that come from?' she said. The barista pointed at me. 'The gentleman found it in the toilet.'

Loudly, he said, 'I shall put it in the safe.' He looked around the cafe to see if everyone had heard him. He laughed again and shook his head.

'Maybe the loser will come back?' the barista said hopefully.

The manager and the barista muttered to each other. 

'Here you go, sir,' the barista said, offering me a coupon. 'You can have a free drink of your choice at any Starbucks.'

'Three!' said the manager from somewhere beneath the counter.

'Manager says "three"', said the barista, and offered me another two coupons. I thanked him and he laughed once more.

So there you go. Three coupons for free drinks. And all for lowering the toilet lid before flushing.

[You do close the lid, don't you? Before flushing? Think of that fine aerosol of disgusting matter that would otherwise spew all over your clothes and the toilet if you didn't.]

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May 29, 2011

Coffee, the Right Way

In 1854, John Henry Wilton published a book titled The First Crime; Or True Friendship, which, he claimed, was upon the importunations of his friends who wished to learn all about his peripatetic life. I haven't read the book, but this passage seems par for its course.
Harry stopped short the tale, and bid Bothwick and his friend partake of some refreshment. " Come," said he, "let us have a cup of mocha, friends. Mr. Wilding," added Harry, "you must be getting peckish; allow me to offer you a cup of coffee and a crust. I'll answer for both being good, for the bread is home-made, and the coffee Richard makes himself in the best style, for he has had much practice ; I taught him myself. The method I learnt in Turkey and France. The Arabs have a mode of making coffee that I don't like. They, like the Egyptians, boil it until it is quite thick, and to me unpleasant. I am very particular as to the way my coffee is made, and have, after much trouble, succeeded in hitting upon an excellent method. I carry with me my own apparatus to make it, which may be called eccentricity. Well, be it so; nevertheless, I do, for I despise nine-tenths of the coffee, or coloured water called coffee, one generally meets with in travelling; for I hold it that a cup of really good coffee is one of the greatest luxuries."
So there you go. Travel might broaden one's mind, but not if one's a Victorian gentleman, full of oneself and the supposed superiority of one's civilisation.

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Dec 10, 2010

Package Deal

On Aug 17, 1962, Life magazine's Life Guide section had a brief note of the continuation of a fad for 'package-deal' music albums.


MUSIC TO CHOKE ON. Furthering the fad for package-deal albums, the four-volume Sounds and Tastes of Foreign Lands series encloses a cookbook with each long-play record, providing both music and recipes for four kinds of exotic eating: French, Italian, Jewish or Oriental. You can savor onion soup à la Française with La Mer playing softly in the background, try Chinese sweet and sour fish to the accompaniment of a bamboo flute, fix Jennie Grossinger's roast goose and cabbage during a medley of Yiddish waltzes and wash it all down with Italian zabaglione and espresso to the tune of a mandolin. (Music Minus One)

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Jul 16, 2009

Smoking? Off With His Head

When women in England were bemoaning the emasculation of their men who spent most of their time drinking coffee, reading papers, gossiping about the latest market trends, and possibly even smoking, Sultan Murad the Fourth was roaming the streets of Istanbul, ordering the executions of those he found flouting a smoking ban he had put into place.

That was about 350 years ago. Today, Reuters reveals that Turkey is shortly to impose yet another smoking ban on that macho country. Erdogan, the main man at the helm of Turkish affairs, is likely to now face the brunt of popular displeasure. How dare they ban an aspect of our national culture, goes the cry. What next? No hubbly-bubblies?

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Aug 15, 2008

Blended Coffee

A while ago, I pondered the fate of shops offering personal blends of tea. 10% Darjeeling and 90% Oolong, anyone? It appears that a German outfit has had a similarly brilliant idea - only with coffee. I'm not much of a coffee-drinker, even less than I am a tea-tippler, but this online shop is the bee's knees. Sonntag Morgen, it calls itself, and it provides punters with the ability to mix and match sundry coffees, give the blend a name and label design, and have it delivered in a delightful tin decorated with said label and name to any address of the punter's choice.

Nicaragua Maragogype and Robusta Indian Parchment with a touch of Ethiopian Sidamo? Drool, drool.

If anyone is checking it out, I'd be glad to have feedback before I try it myself, heh.

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