The idle ramblings of a Jack of some trades, Master of none

Bored at your usual job? Want to combine exercise with your daily work? The Palace of Westminster offers those of us not lucky enough to be MPs on annual stipends of £60,675, two possible positions.

There are 334 steps up the clock tower to Big Ben's belfry, and the Great Clock Guide is a position offered to one with experience in heritage sites, excellent spoken English and interpersonal and communication skills, high levels of fitness (one would need to go up the stairs five times daily) and pays £18,225 a year. Hurry up, though: the last date for applying is 20 December 2007.

If you want to know what it's like to work as a Great Clock Guide, here's an interview with Terry Eiss, current Great Clock Guide.

The Book-cleaner in the Commons Library will be expected to, well, clean books, especially those at the very top shelves, where unseen and unread, they have probably developed entire civilisations of motes, mites, and rodents. To reach these books will require perching on tall specialised ladders. It is, therefore, essential that candidates have no acrophobia, no dust allergies; interpersonal skills are not overly important, though they do ask for some level of team spirit. For this singular role, the successful applicant will be paid the princely sum of £13,731 per annum.

Good luck!


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