JOST A MON

The idle ramblings of a Jack of some trades, Master of none

The imp is in his I-love-everything-that-runs-on-rails phase and he persuades me to take him on a round tour today. We take the Croydon tramlink (he wants a green tram but we can only find a red one [picture by Banbury Bob]), chugging along till Mitcham Junction. There he sees a train pulling up on an adjacent platform, and blares, "Can we take the green train?"

We huff and puff across to the green train - a Southeast service to Victoria - and plonk ourselves before a little Chinese lady.

"Hi," says the boy. The woman grins at him.

"Are you getting off at the next stop?" says the boy.

"No," says the woman, "I'm getting off at London Victoria."

"We are also going to London Pittoria," says the boy. He then urges me to agree to this new plan.

"How old are you?" asks the woman.

"I'm three," says the boy, "And I am going to the big school because I am four."

On our way we see this interesting building in Streatham: a pump-house once owned by the Southwark and Vauxhall Water Company. Quite fancy, I think, but it nips away in our wake before I can take a picture of it. Luckily, Ewan-M@Flickr is ready to fill the gap.

Just as we pull into Clapham Junction, the boy announces that he wants to wee-wee. No toilet on the train and nothing for it but to jump out of the train and scurry along the platform to find a WC. None in sight and the boy recognises that he has to return home. He is not happy about this.

"I want to take a fast train, but not a red one, a white one," he insists. The trains home are, unfortunately, all red, and the pressure on his bladder appears to be increasing. He is distracted by a blue wagon in the next train that arrives at our platform, and I whisk him inside briskly. By now he has lost interest in looking out of the window and prefers to pole-dance. A bevy of American girls is impressed with his skills and interrupt their 'I was, like' infused conversation to watch his moves.

When we arrive at our stop, the imp does not want to pee anymore. He wants to take a doubledecker bus. I am not beguiled by this bit of misdirection, and drag him home.

Where he drains into the loo like Niagara Falls.

3 comments:

Gurusharan said...

love this - Angad is growing up fast man

Dutchie said...

I had a good laugh ! Perhaps the writer of The Polar Express (with Tom Hanks) also had the good fortune to go on an adventure like Angad when he was 3 n worked it into a book when he became a writer !

Fëanor said...

Guru: A bit too fast, eh?

Dutchie: Thanks for stopping by. I'll be sure to remind the boy of this trip just in case he decides to make a movie!

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