The idle ramblings of a Jack of some trades, Master of none

Apr 28, 2009

Knight Tales

A story in the style of Yossarian Lives.

“I had breakfast.”

“What did you eat?”

“I had rice crispies.”

“Then what happened?”

“I went outside. Then I came inside. Then I had circle time.”

“Then what happened?”

“Baltar is not my friend.”

“Why not?”

“He said ‘Oh dear’ to me.”


“I pushed him.”


“He pushed me.”

“No fighting, okay? Not nice. Then what happened?”

“We went on minibus to the animals. We saw chickens and a big chicken. A b-i-g chicken.”

“Then what happened?”

“I touched the chicken. You must not touch the chicken.”

“Then why did you?”

“I did not touch the chicken.”

“Then what happened?”

“The chicken is b-i-g.”


“We went on minibus and I drived it.”

“You drove it.”

“I drove it."

“Then what happened?”

“Then I went to the preschool and ate mum-mum.”

“What did you eat?”

“Pasta. Cheesy pasta, no?”

“Was it nice?”


“Was it delicious?”


“Then what happened?”

“We went outside. Then we sang songs.”

“Which song?”

“We ate lunch.”

“What did you eat?”

“Mashed potatoes.”

“Did you like it?”

“Then Amma came. And I watch little-bit TV and I sleep and it was night-time and Achcha came and he give me a bath and I ate chapati and Achcha give me ice-cream and Amma give me ice-cream and I washed my hands and brushed my teeth and I talk all about the preschool.”

“Good night, sweetie.”

“Can you please call Amma now?”


“Amma! Amma! I want the hot-air balloon story!”


??! said...

What, he didn't want more translations?

Fëanor said...

Yeah, those are beginning to drive the fellow up the wall. One can't start them too young, though!

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