I took the boy to see Disney's latest venture into song-and-dance, Tangled. He didn't know we were going to the cinema, and threw a big fuss when I told him we weren't going for a walk, as he had originally wanted. I guess it would have been easier to tell him we were going to see a film, but I'm mulish myself, and proceed to deflect his attention with cunning gestures and manoeuvres.
I doubt these strategies will succeed for much longer. He's already on to me.
His whole face lit up when I, pointing to the nearby supermarket, sneakily guided him into the theatre. 'Are we going to see a film, Acha?' he said, grinning from ear to ear.
'I'm taking you to the swimming pool,' I replied, 'To swim with the sharks.'
He knew at that point that he was going to see a film.
He didn't blink once through the film.
'Is that woman a baddie?' he said loudly, once.
'Stop kicking!' he shouted at another time. A kid behind him was systematically knocking against the back of his seat.
'Why is that woman a baddie?' he said later.
'Thank you for bringing me to the film, Acha,' he said after the film.
On our way back home, it was already dark, but he wanted to go to a nearby bridge to look at the trains. He also wanted to play with his boat in the bathtub.
'You can do one or the other,' I said.
'Okay then,' he said. He really is an agreeable chap when things go his way. 'I'll look at the trains now and play with the boat tomorrow.'
'You have school tomorrow,' I said. 'You can play with the boat next Saturday.'
He threw another big fuss.
And I, being high and mighty and justice embodied, said,'Well, buddy, no trains or boat for you now.'
Parenting, I find, is all about establishing arbitrary boundaries and thwarting the kid. It is a uniquely satisfying experience.
It will all come back to bite me in the butt, I'm sure. But for now Superman has nothing on my powers.
I doubt these strategies will succeed for much longer. He's already on to me.
His whole face lit up when I, pointing to the nearby supermarket, sneakily guided him into the theatre. 'Are we going to see a film, Acha?' he said, grinning from ear to ear.
'I'm taking you to the swimming pool,' I replied, 'To swim with the sharks.'
He knew at that point that he was going to see a film.
He didn't blink once through the film.
'Is that woman a baddie?' he said loudly, once.
'Stop kicking!' he shouted at another time. A kid behind him was systematically knocking against the back of his seat.
'Why is that woman a baddie?' he said later.
'Thank you for bringing me to the film, Acha,' he said after the film.
On our way back home, it was already dark, but he wanted to go to a nearby bridge to look at the trains. He also wanted to play with his boat in the bathtub.
'You can do one or the other,' I said.
'Okay then,' he said. He really is an agreeable chap when things go his way. 'I'll look at the trains now and play with the boat tomorrow.'
'You have school tomorrow,' I said. 'You can play with the boat next Saturday.'
He threw another big fuss.
And I, being high and mighty and justice embodied, said,'Well, buddy, no trains or boat for you now.'
Parenting, I find, is all about establishing arbitrary boundaries and thwarting the kid. It is a uniquely satisfying experience.
It will all come back to bite me in the butt, I'm sure. But for now Superman has nothing on my powers.
4 comments:
Ha Ha. Tangled is an awesome movie. Spectacular graphics.
That said, don't underestimate the kid. They know to cry. You don't.
Did you see this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN41zcXJjmk
guess it will take time to be released here - love this son and dad tete a tete (now how do I get these French notations on this keyboard)- so how come you two went alone? Parenting is tough and watch how our own fathers behave with our kids and scold us when we get tough on the kids!
I'm with you. Every miniature human ought to be born with the knowledge that one does not play with boats and watch trains on the *same* *day*.
It's practically a Golden Rule.
Chaps, you are talking to Superman. At this unique juncture in the timespace continuum, what I say goes. How long it will continue to go, I cannot say. Mwahaha...
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