The idle ramblings of a Jack of some trades, Master of none

Jul 10, 2012

A Poisoner's Cuisine

In the criminally funny Nigel Williams novel, The Wimbledon Poisoner, Farr is plotting the best way to feed his noxious wife some thallium. It is tasteless, he knows, but how best to feed it to her?
What went well with thallium? Curried things? Chicken Dopiaza Thallium Style! But she would't eat curry, would she? Anyway the stuff had no taste. Just give her the thallium! Thallium à la mode de Wimbledon, served in a little china pot with a spray of basil and a clean table napkin. Elinor might almost accept that. Nouvelle cuisine methods of preparing thallium ... a drop of thallium on a piece of seaweed, chilled thallium, served garnished with a single radichio leaf ... down home thallium ... thallium and beans ... big, tasty, hearty, man-sized thallium burgers served with french fries, pickle and thallium on the side ... 'It's so versatile,' said Henry, aloud, as he drove back down the hill, 'There are so many things you can do with thallium!'


Space Bar said...

The thing about watching Masterchef Australia is, this passage makes perfect sense to me!

Feanor said...

Masterchef Oz? Probably a hundred ways to cook a kangaroo in beer?

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