The idle ramblings of a Jack of some trades, Master of none

Feb 23, 2015

New Names

Sometime after the boy's seventh birthday I told him not to get too attached to his name. When he is around nine years old, I said, his name would be changed.

He was disbelieving at first, then delighted.

"Can I be called O'Henry?" he said. He stretched out the name like so: H E E E N N N R Y.

"No," I said.

"Why not?" he said.

"The Queen will decide your name," I said.

"What will she call me?" he said.

"Bhaktavatsalam Arumugam," I said.

"What?" he said.

"Bhaktavatsalam Arumugam," I said.

"I can't pronounce that!" he said.

"You have two years to learn it," I said.

"Are you joking, acha?" he said. "Are you being ironic?"

"Does it look like I'm being ironic?" I said.

"Wait till the letter from the Queen comes," I added.

Every once in a while I'd remind him that his name would soon be Bhaktavatsalam Arumugam. He went and told everyone at school. His teacher asked him to bring a letter from his parents explaining that his name has been changed.

Soon after his ninth birthday, he wanted to know when he'd get the letter from the Queen. By now he could say 'Bhaktavatsalam Arumugam' without any trouble. He was actually looking forward to a bit of correspondence from royalty.

He also was a bit suspicious.

In school, he advised his friends to start calling him 'Bucky'.

Then he told his teachers that he would soon have a new name.

One of the teachers huffed up to his mum and said - eyes wide as a moon, "The boy says his name is going to be changed!"

"We're just pranking him," said the wife.

The gossip in the school is that Feanor and family are peculiar.

As for the boy, he realises on one level that we were kidding. On another, he's not entirely sure.

They sure fuck you up, your mum and dad.


Anonymous said...

Also called bullying. Surprised no one has reported you yet. Hmph.

??! said...

The boy is nine??!

(Also, could this be the first time you've cussed on the blog?)

Fëanor said...

Arkady (or Kim): I can scarcely believe it myself. (And it's not me cussing - it's Larkin, ha!) How are you?

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