The PUDDIN'-OWNERS' EVENSONG
"Let feeble feeders stoop To plates of oyster soup. Let pap engage The gums of age And appetites that droop; We much prefer to chew A steak-and-kidney stew. "Let yokels coarse appease Their appetites with cheese. Let women dream Of cakes and cream, We scorn fal-lals like these; Our sterner sex extols The joy of boiled jam rolls. "We scorn digestive pills; Give us the food that fills; Who bravely stuff Themselves with Duff, May laugh at Doctors's bills. For medicine, partake Of kidney, stewed with steak. "Then plight our faith anew Three puddin'-owners true, Who boldly claim, In Friendship's name The noble Irish stoo, Hurrah, Hurrah, Hurroo!"
Matthew Gibb (1849-1920), great-grandfather of the Bee Gees, was a military man. According the Scottish records office, he was 5’ 5¾” tall at enlistment at the age of 18 in the 60th Rifles (which later became known as Scottish Rifles, The Cameronians). He was a shoemaker in the parish of Abbey, Paisley, Scotland when he joined up. His eyes were hazel, and his hair was brown. He served in India (1867-1878, 1880-81), Afghanistan (1878-1880), South Africa (1881-1882) and back home in 1882. He was discharged in 1905 with a rank of Quartermaster, after having served nearly four decades with the Forces. His conduct was reported as ‘Exemplary’ and was awarded the Good Conduct medal and the Long Service medal, and another one for combat in Afghanistan.
“In spite of the above mentioned good conduct and decorations, it appears that in 1874 while serving in India, he was arrested for drunkenness, tried, and reduced in rank from Corporal back to Private.”
To his descendants today, this seems entirely out of character, for all his sons were teetotallers, and he himself appears as unbending and stern in his photographs. And yet how could something as trivial as drunkenness result in so harsh a punishment?
The Regimental Headquarters of the 60th Rifles is in Winchester, and the details of Gibb’s service are available in greater detail there.
He was one among the many BOR – British Other Ranks – soldiers from these isles who served in India, along with the much larger native forces. They bivouacked in Cantonments waiting to be called out on campaign. When he joined, India was the largest and most important of British colonies. The Army acted as a vast Imperial police force, maintaining law and order and British interests in the region. Gibb was one of sixty thousand white soldiers living and working along with Indian army men in garrison towns across the subcontinent.
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It was for the most part a fairly uneventful routine. Gibb’s battalion was moved around from station to station: Benares, Bara Gali, Rawalpindi, Changla Gali, Fatehgarh: carrying out peacekeeping duties and training exercises, ready to be called upon when trouble broke out. He was promoted fairly quickly to Lance Corporal soon after his arrival in India.
A Lance Corporal is not a rank but an appointment. Gibb’s performance was evaluated whilst he remained in this probationary state. Clearly he did well, and was soon made Corporal with attendant privileges, more pay, better pension.
At the time, there were no serious engagements for the Army. There were occasional skirmishes, but in the main, his existence consisted of waking up, parading, facing the odd inspection, guard duties, a never-ending dullness that prompted the bored infractions of military life. For many soldiers there was little to do during the day except go to the wet canteen and drink. And drink they did, hard drinks like rum and arrack. And they gambled, and they lost their money, and they drank more and gambled more in a bottomless spiral.
This drunkenness was a serious problem at the time, and in many pubs were signs ‘No Red Coats or Dogs’ because the soldiers would drink to excess. But alcohol had long been a part of army life. It was long believed that it would help the troops withstand the heat, and was certainly healthier to drink than water in India. By the 1860s, however, there was growing concern about the effects of alcohol on discipline and well-being. Soldiers were encouraged to join Army Temperance Groups. Severe punishments were meted out to anyone found drunk on duty. ![]()
In Gibb’s case, he was found so drunk that he was hauled up before his commanding officer, sentenced to two weeks’ solitary confinement and reduced in rank. That was the end of his hitherto stellar rise through the ranks, a serious blow to his hopes of bettering his life.
Matthew Gibb was not completely crushed, however, for by the end of that year, he had obtained an Army Certificate of Education, Second Class. This was in recognition of his effort to become literate, having gone to school to educate himself. And then it took him another eight years to regain his rank of Corporal, in 1882. Eventually he ended up being a Staff Sergeant.
This was a man of determination, who had managed to pull himself by his bootstrings to a dignified station in life.
[Matthew Gibb’s early life had been a stark contrast. He was one of several children listed as living in the William Gibb household in the 1851 Census. William was a handloom weaver, a craftsman of that cloth mimicking cashmere that came to be known after the Scottish town of Paisley. But in the 1861 census, Matthew was no longer living with his parents: aged 12, he was in the East Lane Ragged School.
A Ragged School, or Industrial School for Destitute Children, was for orphans or indigent children to receive a good education and vocational training and three square meals a day. Boys received training in shoemaking, tailoring, to inculcate in them a work ethic and discipline. This was one of several institutions set up in the Victorian period out of a deep sense of philanthropy and Christian imperative to do good. The Paisley Ragged School was part of that national movement, much of which was driven not by the wealthy but by common folk such as the Portsmouth cobbler who trained up children in his trade from 1818. By the middle of the 19th century, there were nearly 700 Ragged schools throughout Britain providing a home, a basic education and a trade for society’s poorest children.
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In Paisley, only children from the margins of society were selected to the Ragged School. In particular, those begging on the street or in danger of falling into crime were given priority. In the 1850s, during the so-called Golden age of the Paisley looms, Matthew’s father had been earning well, despite frequent fluctuations in labour demand. The Paisley shawl was in favour during that time, with even Queen Victoria promoting it. But as the decade wore on, the condition of the weavers gradually worsened. Mechanised looms began to replace craftsmen as the Industrial revolution trundled remorselessly. The craftsmen tried to compete by producing larger amounts of the cloth, but only ended up flooding the market and driving down prices. Although the power loom could never weave a pattern as complex as a Paisley, its cheaply produced shawls began to undercut the prices of the real thing as well. The result for Matthew’s father and his cohorts was disaster.
In 1854, Matthew’s mother died; shortly thereafter, William left his children destitute as he went in search of work elsewhere in Scotland. He was away for two years, leaving his children to be cared for by the parish, effectively abandoned. In 1857, Matthew was in the Ragged School; in 1863, his father was institutionalised, driven insane by depression. By the 1870s, the Paisley shawl works were for all purposes extinct, and William Gibb died in a poor-house in 1874.
From BBC’s Who Do You Think You Are? – Robin Gibb.]
Prescriptivists of language usage very often don't know what they are talking about. Consider the widely held injunction against the passive voice. Prescriptivists in many ways are hidebound people with little understanding of how languages develop. They are conservatives with pet peeves. They would do well to go to the superb Language Log and learn about grammar and language from real experts. This is not to say that all of DMello's complaints are unsound. Let us examine them one by one.
0. What is your good name? Clearly this is a literal translation of the Hindi आपका शुभ नाम क्या है? Why is this any less valid an addition to the corpus than anything invented by, say, the Romans? English abounds in Latinisms. After all, they said 'cum grano salis' and we have translated it to 'with a grain of salt' and nobody scoffs. Languages admit new usages all the time, some of which become entrenched while others fall by the wayside. Survival of the fittest, what?
1. Pass out. DMello says that to pass out is to faint. He dislikes its use to mean 'to graduate from an institution'. He says only the Indians say 'pass out from college.' Bunkum. In Britain, if you graduate from a military college, you are said to pass out. I can't say for sure, but isn't it possible that the usage was extended to mean to graduate from any college when the Brits came to India?

3. Years back. DMello insists it should be 'years ago'. It's true that the usage of 'years ago' vastly outnumbers 'years back'. Searching on Google, 'years ago' brings up about a billion hits, while 'years back' brings in only 33 million (about 30 times fewer). But DMello again makes the mistake of attributing the phrase to Indian English. A member of the English Stack Exchange checked both the British and American corpora of contemporary usage, and discovered that 'years ago' is used about 10-20 times more often than 'years ago', both in formal and informal speech/journalism/fiction (although the Brits don't use 'years back' at all in academic literature). But Americans and Brits do use this expression. How about Jeffrey Kluger in this article in Time? Is Kluger desi, DMello? (DMello also resents the use of 'backside' to mean 'back'. As in 'put the suitcase in the backside of the car'. What can I say, DMello, you are correct here.) 5. Discuss about. Why add the 'about', asks DMello. Good question. It appears to be unnecessary. And yet it's not just Indians who say this. There are 6 million hits on Google for this expression, not all by desis. The occasional Iranian bureaucrat has been heard to use it. Even the New York Times has stumbled.
6. Order for. DMello doesn't like ordering 'for' anything. 'For' is gratuitous. I agree.
7. Do one thing. I suspect this comes from the Hindi एक काम करो. It is a colloquial expression that generally precedes a suggestion. It is an Indianism - I haven't seen or heard this used anywhere else. I'm no oracle, of course, so you are free to do your own investigation. DMello says, drolly, that a person who says 'do one thing' usually proceeds to suggest five. Yup, that can happen. But that's a matter for logic, not usage, surely?
8. Out of station. This, like 'pass out', comes from British (and American) military usage. DMello's complaint is that this is archaic. A brief online search reveals that it is not all that dated. It's not particularly restricted to subcontinentals either. In West of the West: Imagining California (by Leonard Michaels et al, University of California Press), page 283, appears the sentence 'One continues to run into people who, literally and metaphorically, are out of station.' And a little later, 'The out-of-station are to be met with at every twist and turn.' The book was published in 1995. There were no desis involved in writing it.
9. Sleep is coming. DMello objects to the anthropomorphism here. On the other hand, finer writers than him have written "Winter is coming", and "Night is coming", and, well, it's all very portentous when they say it, and it loses a bit of that sense of awe when someone is about to clunk into bed, so, okay. Point taken. I think.
10. Prepone. DMello doesn't object to this Indianism and an Indianism it is, to be sure, a very logical one, a most apt one indeed, as DMello himself is eager to add. This is clearly a neologism, and that's yet another way languages change. Were it not for neologisms, there wouldn't be 'laser' and 'photon' and 'torpedo' and Star Trek would have been that much duller and the wife and I wouldn't have watched it, or if we did, one of us would have hated it, and then had we ever met, we wouldn't have gotten on as well as we did, and that doesn't bear thinking about.
So there you have it. What do you have to say, DMello?

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| Shah Jahan accepting tributes from a vassal (1640-7) |
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| Kushal Khan, a noted musician of Agra (mid-17th century) |
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| Dervishes in a trance (17th century) |
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| Dara Shikoh enters Lahore Fort (17th century) |
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| Aurangzeb's daughter Shebannissa celebrating Shab-i-Barat (17th century) |
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| Noble lady with servants (1775) |
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