So do you remember that time I found a few twenties lying in the toilet at Starbucks? Well, the other day the we were on the Underground and we found a twenty lying between our seats. As the train had emptied before we boarded, it wasn't clear who had left the moolah. We decided to hand in the note to a Responsible Person at the end of our journey.
The guard at the ticket turnstile said he couldn't accept any lost and found, and directed us to the ticket counter. The ticketcounterwallah questioned us closely - where? why? how? what?
Then he said, 'You know that this will just go into the company coffers.'
'But what if the person who lost the money wants to get it back?' we asked, naifs that we are.
'They will have to sort it out with the company,' replied the ticketcounterwallah, and issued us with a receipt.
So this appears to be Southwest Trains policy, then. Any money turned in as lost-and-found shores up the corporate balance sheet. Nice one.
Speaking of lost and found moolah, a while ago the Euromillions lottery had a bumper jackpot. Nearly a couple hundred million quid, you know, chump change for the average oligarch. A few of us at work decided to form a syndicate. We each put in ten pounds and bought £200 worth of tickets and sat back awaiting the end of our working lives.
On the momentous day of the jackpot, we found we had won - wait for it, wait for it - £25.
The lottery rolled over to an even more humungous sum and we bought £26 worth of tickets. This time our winnings were even more impressive - £10.
We bought some Haribos with the amount and ruined our teeth.