The boy and I have been watching This is Jinsy, a peculiarly funny brand of British television programming. We liked this song and sang it several times, giggling helplessly. You should imagine it being set to a rather soothing melody. There's also a faint background vocal, commenting ethereally on the situation.
You left a parsnip on my chair I found some sweetcorn in my underwear You placed a broccoli on every stair. And it frightened me. I found a broad bean in my wine And a spinach on my washing line You shoved a marrow where the sun don't shine And it frightened me. * You're playing vegetable vegetable tricks Is that how you're getting your kicks? You're playing vegetable vegetable tricks I'm dealing with someone who's sick. You put a cabbage in my summer hat You force fed beetroot to my favourite cat (Anus) Now there are purple patches where it sat And it frightened me. I found twelve mushrooms in my shoe (In My Shoe) What a horrid horrid thing to do (What a h o r r i d thing to do) I was going to use them in tomorrow's stew You knew that, didn't you? Repeat * twice
But you don't have to imagine the soothing melody. Here it is: